Having a hard time
by Lacey99
Summary: Hard time in their marriage...


This started as an idea for a longer story, but ended up as a short one..

The character's are not mine and all that...

Mistakes are my own..

It's set after the end of JAG.

Having a hard time

Mac reached for the phone and dialled Harm's number for the tenth time that night. It was past 22.00 and he had told her that he would be home around 20.00. He didn't answer this time either. Mac put the phone away and sat down on the couch. Her mind wandered to Thursday night, right before Harm had left to go on his fishing trip. They had been fighting, actually they had been fighting a lot over the last six months and they were barely communicating. Harm had looked relieved when his friend, James, came to pick him up. Mac could see that he was glad to get out of the house and away from her.

They had been married for a year and a half and they had been really happy for a long time. Then the fertility treatment had started and something had changed between them. Mac was disappointed every time the pregnancy-test was negative and Harm was tired of making a donation in a cup. They pulled away from each other, both keeping busy at work. Mac hated that their relationship had gone so wrong, and that it was her fault. They wanted a baby, but her illness made it hard, and at the moment Mac had given up on her dream. Enough was enough.

She heard the door open, and Harm stepped into view. "Hi."

Mac stood. "You could have called." She hadn't meant to come off as harsh as she did.

Harm put his bag down. "Sorry, James car broke down and we had to do some repairs."

"You could have called." Mac repeated.

"Will you just leave it Mac. I'm tired after the trip and I won't get into something with you right now." Harm's tone was hostile. "I just want to take a shower and shave, I stink."

Mac walked past him and towards the stairs. "I was just worried." She said in an apologising tone as she put her foot on the first step.

Harm felt like an ass for snapping at her. "I'm sorry Mac. I should have called." His apology seemed empty even to his ow ears. He hadn't called because he had dreaded going home and he felt terrible for feeling that way. He loved his wife, but at the moment he just wanted to avoid their life as it had become.

Mac had walked half way up the stairs when his apology made her stop. "I'm going to bed."

"Mac wait." Harm was pleading. "We need to talk."

Mac turned to him. "About what?"

"About something that happened on the trip." Harm put his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor. "We promised not to have any secrets so I want to tell you right away." He finally felt brave enough to lift his head and look in her direction. Not directly at her though, he avoided her eyes.

Mac sat down on the stairs. "What happened?"

Harm hesitated, but he decided that the best way to tell her, was by being direct. "There were more people camping at the same place as us, and last night I started talking to a woman. We kissed."

"You what?" Mac stood abruptly. "I know we've been having problems, but how could you?" Mac was furious. "How could you sleep with another woman?" She spat out.

"Mac, no!" Harm stepped closer to the stairs. "I didn't sleep with her, I pulled away. God, Mac; I would never hurt you like that."

Mac calmed down. "Why are you telling me about it then?"

"Because you would have told me if it happened to you, and because we have no secrets." Harm ran a hand through his dirty hair. "But you should know that talking to that woman was the highlight of my month, hell the last three months at least, and you should be worried about that."

Mac didn't say anything, she stood frozen and stared at him.

"What happened to us Mac? You used to call me during lunch just to hear how my day was; you used to wake me up before sunrise so that we could watch it together, just to have the perfect start to our day. What happened to her?" Harm took a cleansing breath. "I used to hurry home from work early at least once a week so that I could make you a romantic dinner; I used to send you flowers at work. I don't know where that guy went. I want that back."

A tear escaped Mac's eye. "I miss us too." Mac wiped away her tears. "Can we talk tomorrow? I'm tired and you need a shower."

Harm saw how exhausted she looked and he wondered if she had slept at all that weekend. "We'll talk tomorrow." He hesitated. "We have a Doctor's appointment tomorrow."

"No, I cancelled it. I cancelled everything." Mac sniffled and wiped away another tear. "Let's talk tomorrow, I took leave this week so I'll be home. Good night."

Harm watched her leave. He was relieved by her news, he had dreaded going back to that Doctor's office. He was sick of the sterile, unnatural way of making a baby. He just wanted to make love to his wife; he wanted to spend late Sunday mornings in bed talking; he wanted to see the happy smile on Mac's face, the one he had missed seeing since they started trying for a baby.

The next morning

Harm walked into their bedroom with a tray in his hands. Mac's eyes were still closed and she looked peaceful. He put the tray down on the bed and took the mug with strong coffee and held it in front of Mac's nose.

She started moving a little and opened her eyes.

Harm smiled. "Good morning."

Mac sat up in bed. "Thanks." She took the mug from him and tasted the coffee. "It's good."

"I made it just the way you like it." Harm grabbed the tray and put it closer to Mac. He walked around the bed and sat down on his side of it. "I made breakfast too."

Mac smiled. "Thank you."

"I have a lot to make up for."

"We both do." Mac put her mug down. "I'm sorry I pushed you away."

"I'm sorry too." Harm reached for her hand. "I'm sorry we couldn't make a baby."

"Me too, but I think we'll just have to realise that it won't happen. If we keep trying, it will be a waste of money." Mac smiled sadly. "And we'll ruin our marriage."

"We can't do that." Harm removed the tray from the bed and put it on the floor before he sat closer to Mac and put his arm around her and hugged her close. "I won't allow us to mess up what we have."

Mac rested her head on his chest. "Let's do better from now."

"There's nothing I want more." Harm agreed.

Three months later

Mac hurried to park her car in the driveway and got out. She ran up to the house and opened the door. "Harm!" She yelled as she entered the living room.

Harm came running down the stairs. "What's going on?"

Mac hurried to meet him and threw herself into his arms while her tears started flowing.

Harm was confused, but he held her close and let her cry.

After several minutes Mac pulled away from him. "I'm..." She sniffled. "I'm pregnant."

Harm froze. "Say that again."

"I'm pregnant." Mac laughed through the tears. "I'm pregnant." She repeated.

"What? How?" Harm was still staring at her as though she was insane. "The last test was negative."

Mac shook her head. "No, it wasn't. They had a mix up at the lab and Dr. Cramer wanted me to come in for a new test. That was the same day I called to tell her that I didn't want to continue with the fertility treatment and I didn't take a new test." Mac laughed. "When I went to see Dr Cramer about why I haven't had my period she performed a test and I'm pregnant." Tears started running down her face again. "I can't believe it..."

Harm pulled her into his arms and hugged her close. "We did it." He laughed. "I can't believe we made a baby."

Mac laughed as well. "We did."

Harm released her a little and kissed her deeply. "God, I love you so much Mac."

"I love you too." Mac leaned in and kissed him again.

They cried, they laughed,then they cried some more and then they laughed some more.

Two years later

Mac parked her car and got out. She smiled and waved to Mrs. Garrison across the street as she walked to the house. She hurried inside. "I'm home."

"In the kitchen." She heard Harm call out.

Mac hurried in there and found her daughter smiling at her from her chair. "Hi, cuteness." Mac lifted little Emma from the chair and covered her face in kisses. "I could just eat you up."

Harm laughed. "She wasn't so adorable twenty minutes ago when she spilled juice all over herself."

Mac put Emma down in her chair again and walked over to Harm. "Did you two have a nice day?"

"We had a great day." Harm gave Mac a sweet kiss. "And we learned a new word today." He smiled proudly.

"Really, what word is that?"

Harm found Emma's toy plane from the table and showed it to their daughter. "Emma, what's this?"

"Plane." Emma pointed to the toy as she said it.

"See Mac, she's a genius." Harm smiled proudly.

Mac laughed softly. "She really is." Mac put her arms around Harm's neck. "I love you."

Harm let go of the plane and wrapped Mac in a tight embrace. "I love you too." He kissed her.

The End.


End file.
